What if We Wind Up Resenting How This Baby Changes My Body?

The decision to have a baby is one of the most life-changing and exciting experiences many people will face. However, it also brings with it an array of physical, emotional, and mental changes that can sometimes be overwhelming. For many expectant parents, one of the most challenging aspects of pregnancy is how it affects their bodies. As the body changes to accommodate and nurture a growing baby, it can feel foreign, uncomfortable, and even distressing at times.

Feelings of anxiety, frustration, or resentment towards these changes are often not discussed openly but are more common than we might think. You might worry about how pregnancy will change your body, how these changes will affect your self-image, or whether you’ll be able to accept your body after the baby arrives. These feelings of uncertainty are perfectly valid, but they don’t have to define your experience.

In this article, we’ll explore the natural bodily changes that come with pregnancy, how to manage them with antenatal care, and how to embrace the journey in a positive and supportive way. We’ll also address ways to cope with the fear of resentment towards your body during and after pregnancy, focusing on holistic practices like antenatal yoga, antenatal massage, and support through antenatal classes.

The Physical Changes Pregnancy Brings

1. Weight Gain and Body Shape Alterations

It’s no secret that pregnancy causes your body to change in various ways. One of the most noticeable changes is weight gain. For many women, seeing their body become rounder and their weight increase can be uncomfortable. The average weight gain during pregnancy varies, but it’s generally between 10-14 kg (22-31 pounds). The weight gain, while necessary for the growth and development of the baby, can sometimes be difficult to come to terms with.

As your body changes shape, you may feel disconnected from the body you once recognised. You might feel uncomfortable with the new curves, stretch marks, or the way your clothes no longer fit. This can be particularly hard for those who’ve always been proud of their physical appearance. There is a social pressure to “bounce back” to your pre-pregnancy body, which only exacerbates these feelings of resentment and frustration.

2. Changes to Your Skin and Hair

Pregnancy often brings about a host of skin changes, many of which are temporary but nonetheless distressing for some people. Hormonal fluctuations can lead to acne, pigmentation changes, or the appearance of stretch marks. These skin changes can contribute to feelings of self-consciousness and discomfort, as you may not recognise the reflection staring back at you.

Hair changes, too, can have a profound effect on self-esteem. While some women experience thick, glossy hair during pregnancy, others may experience thinning or dryness due to hormonal changes. Many people report losing hair post-pregnancy as hormone levels fluctuate, which can be particularly distressing when dealing with the complexities of motherhood.

3. Physical Discomfort and Fatigue

Alongside these visible changes, pregnancy can bring significant physical discomfort. Your body produces a hormone called relaxin, which causes the ligaments in the pelvis to loosen in preparation for birth. This can lead to pelvic pain, back pain, or a general feeling of discomfort. Furthermore, as the baby grows, your centre of gravity shifts, leading to posture changes, lower back pain, and even swollen feet.

Fatigue is another common symptom of pregnancy, especially during the first and third trimesters. It’s easy to feel frustrated by the constant tiredness, particularly if you’re used to being energetic and active. Feeling physically drained can exacerbate feelings of resentment, especially if you miss the vitality and energy you had before pregnancy.

Managing Pregnancy Changes with Antenatal Care

While the physical changes that come with pregnancy are inevitable, there are many ways to manage them to help you feel better physically and emotionally. Antenatal care is essential to supporting your health during pregnancy, ensuring that you’re well-prepared and have the tools to manage your body’s changes in a healthy way.

1. Prenatal Care and Support

Proper pregnancy care is vital for ensuring that you remain healthy throughout your pregnancy. Attending antenatal appointments regularly will allow your healthcare provider to monitor both your health and the baby’s development. These appointments are opportunities to discuss any concerns, such as discomfort, weight gain, or emotional well-being.

Your healthcare provider may recommend specific antenatal vitamins to support your body during pregnancy, particularly folic acid to reduce the risk of neural tube defects. Proper nutritional support will help your body adjust to the changes while promoting a healthier pregnancy overall.

2. Antenatal Fitness and Yoga

One of the best ways to stay physically comfortable and emotionally grounded during pregnancy is through antenatal fitness practices such as antenatal yoga. Yoga during pregnancy helps to strengthen and stretch the body, easing back pain, pelvic discomfort, and fatigue. It also provides relaxation techniques that can help reduce the stress and anxiety that often accompany pregnancy-related body changes.

Pregnancy yoga classes offer a safe space to connect with your body, breathe deeply, and focus on your own well-being. It can also serve as an opportunity to meet other expectant parents and share experiences, building a supportive network to navigate the challenges of pregnancy together.

Beyond yoga, light exercise can also improve circulation, reduce swelling, and help you feel more connected to your changing body. Always consult with your healthcare provider before starting any new fitness routine during pregnancy.

3. Massage for Pregnancy

Antenatal massage is another excellent way to address the physical discomforts that accompany pregnancy. Pregnancy massage benefits are numerous, offering relief from back pain, muscle tension, and swelling in the legs and feet. Relaxation during pregnancy is essential for your well-being, as stress can exacerbate feelings of discomfort and frustration with your body’s changes.

Massage can also help improve sleep quality, reduce anxiety, and promote emotional relaxation. It’s important to choose a certified therapist who specialises in prenatal massage, as there are specific techniques that are safe for both you and your baby. Regular massages can help you feel more grounded, relaxed, and connected to your body, reducing the chances of resentment towards the changes you’re experiencing.

Coping with Resentment Toward Your Body

Feelings of resentment are not uncommon, especially when you feel disconnected from your body or uncomfortable with the changes happening. However, there are ways to work through these feelings so that they don’t define your pregnancy experience.

1. Accepting and Embracing Change

The first step in managing resentment is acknowledging the changes and accepting that they are a natural part of pregnancy. Pregnancy is a time of transformation, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. Understanding that your body is doing incredible things to create and nourish new life can help you shift your perspective.

Try to focus on the positives of pregnancy, such as the strength and resilience your body shows as it supports the growth of your baby. This doesn’t mean ignoring discomfort or frustration, but recognising that these changes are temporary and part of the beautiful journey of becoming a parent.

2. Body Positivity and Support

It’s important to be kind to yourself during pregnancy and embrace body positivity. Social media and magazines often promote unrealistic standards of beauty, but it’s essential to remember that no one’s body is the same, and there is no “right” way to look during pregnancy. Speak positively about your body and try to avoid negative self-talk.

Surround yourself with supportive people who can encourage you through this journey. Whether through online groups, antenatal classes near me, or close friends and family, finding a supportive community can help you feel validated and understood. You are not alone in your feelings.

3. Postpartum Support and Mental Health

After the baby arrives, it’s natural for the body to take time to return to its pre-pregnancy state. However, it’s essential to be patient with yourself. Your body has just gone through an incredible transformation, and it may take months or even longer to feel “like yourself” again. Consider seeking support through antenatal education on postpartum recovery or discussing mental health concerns with your doctor or a therapist if you’re struggling with how your body has changed.

The Importance of Antenatal Clinics and Education

Throughout your pregnancy, attending antenatal checkups and keeping up with antenatal scans is crucial to your well-being and that of your baby. These visits help ensure that any potential health concerns are identified early and that your pregnancy is progressing normally. Many pregnancy clinic visits also include education on what to expect throughout your pregnancy and beyond.

Participating in antenatal education can equip you with valuable knowledge and coping strategies for the physical and emotional changes of pregnancy. Understanding how to care for your body, prepare for labour, and manage post-birth recovery will give you the confidence to navigate this incredible, yet challenging, journey.

Conclusion

Pregnancy is a time of transformation, and while it often brings incredible joy, it can also be a time of discomfort, uncertainty, and self-doubt. The fear of resentment towards your changing body is a valid concern, but it doesn’t have to define your experience. By investing in antenatal care, engaging in antenatal yoga or prenatal massage, and attending antenatal classes, you can navigate the changes in your body with confidence and support.

Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Embrace the changes with patience and compassion, knowing that your body is doing something extraordinary. You have the tools, resources, and support to not only survive pregnancy but to thrive during it.