What to Do If You Disagree with Your Midwife or Doctor During Labour.

Labour and childbirth are intense experiences, both physically and emotionally. Most expectant parents hope for a smooth delivery where their wishes are respected, and their healthcare team works in harmony with them. However, it’s not uncommon to feel apprehensive about situations where you may disagree with your midwife or doctor during labour.

Understanding your rights, being prepared, and knowing how to handle such moments can make a significant difference in ensuring that your voice is heard while maintaining a healthy relationship with your healthcare provider. In this article, we’ll explore what to do if you find yourself in a situation where you need to assert your preferences during labour.

1. The Importance of Communication During Pregnancy and Labour

Open and honest communication is one of the most important aspects of your relationship with your healthcare provider. Ideally, you will have discussed your birth preferences during your antenatal appointments, and your midwife or obstetrician will be familiar with your birth plan. Clear communication helps to build trust, reduce misunderstandings, and ensure that your needs are respected during labour.

1.1 Discussing Your Birth Plan in Advance

An essential part of antenatal care is developing a birth plan that outlines your preferences for labour and delivery. This plan can include your wishes around pain relief, birthing positions, interventions, and whether you want a natural birth or are open to medical assistance.

Having detailed discussions with your midwife or doctor during your pregnancy care appointments will help to avoid surprises during labour. It’s important to ask questions, express concerns, and feel confident that your healthcare team understands your wishes.

That said, it’s also essential to remain flexible. Labour can be unpredictable, and your midwife or doctor may need to suggest a different approach for the health of you and your baby. A balance between asserting your wishes and understanding the medical reasoning behind any changes is key.

2. When Disagreements Happen in Labour

Labour can be an overwhelming experience, and it’s entirely normal to feel vulnerable, especially when faced with decisions about your care. However, there may be moments where you feel that your healthcare provider isn’t following your birth plan, or you disagree with their proposed course of action.

2.1 Know Your Rights

In the UK, you have the right to make informed decisions about your healthcare, including your birth. The NHS guidelines clearly state that you must be fully informed about any treatments or interventions being suggested during labour, and your consent is required before proceeding.

If you disagree with something your midwife or doctor is recommending, you have the right to ask for a thorough explanation of why they believe it is necessary. You can also request time to think about your options, although in an emergency, your healthcare team will prioritise your and your baby’s safety.

2.2 Staying Calm and Assertive

If you find yourself in a situation where you need to argue or assert your preferences, try to remain calm. Labour is already a high-stress experience, and heightened emotions can make it harder to communicate effectively.

Some strategies for staying calm and assertive include:

Take a moment to breathe: It’s okay to take a pause before responding. Focus on your breathing or use relaxation techniques, such as those practised in antenatal yoga or breathing exercises from your antenatal classes.

Ask questions: If you’re unsure about a suggestion from your midwife or doctor, ask them to explain the benefits and risks. Ensure you fully understand why they’re recommending a certain course of action before making a decision.

Refer to your birth plan: If something is being suggested that doesn’t align with your birth plan, kindly remind your healthcare team of your preferences and ask why they believe a different approach is necessary.

Bring in your birth partner: Your birth partner can be an advocate for you if you’re feeling too overwhelmed to communicate. Make sure they are familiar with your birth plan so they can support you in asserting your preferences.

3. Navigating Common Areas of Disagreement

While it’s impossible to predict every situation that might arise during labour, there are some common areas where disagreements can happen between expectant parents and their healthcare providers. Understanding these scenarios in advance can help you feel more prepared to handle them.

3.1 Pain Relief Choices

One of the most common areas of disagreement during labour is pain relief. Some women may wish for a natural birth with minimal interventions, while others may prefer medical pain relief, such as an epidural. It’s important to remember that your pain management choices are your decision.

If your midwife or doctor suggests pain relief that you don’t want or isn’t in your birth plan, feel free to ask for alternatives or explain why you would prefer to continue without it. On the other hand, if you originally planned for a natural birth but are now struggling with the pain, it’s okay to change your mind and ask for pain relief.

3.2 Medical Interventions and Procedures

Medical interventions such as forceps delivery, episiotomies, or C-sections may sometimes be recommended during labour. While these interventions can be necessary for the health and safety of both you and your baby, it’s crucial that you understand why they are being suggested.

If you’re uncomfortable with a proposed intervention, ask your healthcare provider to explain why they believe it is necessary and what the alternatives are. Be sure to weigh the risks and benefits before making your decision.

3.3 Inductions and Labour Augmentation

Sometimes, your midwife or doctor may suggest inducing labour or augmenting it if it isn’t progressing as expected. Again, you have the right to ask for the reasons behind this suggestion and explore other options, such as continuing to labour naturally for a bit longer.

4. Preparing for Labour: Knowledge is Power

One of the best ways to prepare for potential disagreements during labour is to educate yourself beforehand. By attending antenatal classes and learning about the labour process, pain management options, and common interventions, you’ll feel more confident in making decisions during labour.

4.1 Attend Antenatal Classes

Antenatal classes are an excellent way to gain practical knowledge about labour and birth. These classes cover topics such as the stages of labour, pain relief, and what to expect in different scenarios, helping you feel empowered to make informed decisions. In the UK, many organisations, such as the NCT or your local antenatal clinic, offer antenatal education.

These classes often include relaxation techniques, such as antenatal yoga, which can help you manage stress during labour. If you’re looking for classes in your area, you can search for antenatal classes near me or ask your midwife for recommendations.

4.2 Be Open to Flexibility

While it’s important to have a clear birth plan and be ready to assert your wishes, it’s equally important to remain flexible. Labour doesn’t always go as planned, and your healthcare team may suggest changes for the safety of you and your baby. Trusting your midwife or doctor’s expertise, while also standing up for your rights, is the best approach to a safe and positive birth experience.

5. What to Do After Labour

If you feel that your concerns weren’t adequately addressed during labour, or you’re unhappy with how a disagreement was handled, it’s important to speak up after the birth. Many hospitals and maternity units offer a debriefing session, where you can discuss your experience with a healthcare professional and raise any concerns.

You can also seek support from organisations like the Birth Trauma Association, which offers guidance and support to women who have experienced difficult births.

Conclusion: Balancing Your Rights with Expert Advice

Labour can be unpredictable, and while it’s important to have a birth plan, it’s equally important to remain open to the expertise of your healthcare team. Disagreements with your midwife or doctor during labour can be challenging, but by staying calm, asking questions, and being assertive when necessary, you can ensure that your voice is heard.

Remember that the goal of your healthcare team is to ensure the safe delivery of your baby while respecting your preferences. If you prepare well through antenatal education, understand your rights, and have open communication with your midwife or doctor, you’ll be in the best position to navigate any disagreements that may arise.