How to Handle Comparisons to Other Pregnant Women at Work

Pregnancy is a uniquely personal experience, yet it often becomes a public affair, especially in competitive work environments. Workplace dynamics can exacerbate feelings of competition and comparison, particularly among women. Whether these comparisons are overt or implicit, they can add stress and pressure to what should be a joyful time. Navigating the subtle comparisons, managing your mental and physical health, and maintaining focus on your antenatal care are essential strategies for keeping balance during pregnancy.

The Pressure of Comparison: Understanding the Workplace Dynamic

Workplaces can be inherently competitive, and for women, pregnancy can sometimes add another layer to this dynamic. In many industries, there’s an unspoken expectation to keep up with peers and colleagues, even when your body is undergoing significant changes. This can be magnified when there’s more than one pregnant woman in the workplace, leading to comparisons regarding productivity, physical appearance, or how one is “handling” pregnancy. According to the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD), many pregnant women in the UK report feeling judged or compared to others regarding how well they manage work during pregnancy. This subtle competition can stem from concerns about professional reputation, perceptions of strength and resilience, or workplace culture that rewards pushing through physical limitations. While some of this might be unconscious, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy or stress, especially if you’re being compared to another pregnant colleague.

Protecting Your Well-Being: Setting Healthy Boundaries

One of the most critical aspects of antenatal self-care is setting clear boundaries in the workplace. This means not only physical boundaries but also emotional ones. You have the right to decide how much you want to share about your pregnancy and how you respond to unsolicited comparisons.

1. Know Your Limits and Communicate Them

It’s important to recognise when comparisons or comments begin to affect your well-being. If conversations about pregnancy become too personal or uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to assert your boundaries. Politely but firmly explain that you prefer not to engage in comparisons and that every pregnancy is unique. This can be done through statements such as:

• “I think everyone’s pregnancy journey is so personal. I try to focus on what works for me.”
• “I’m finding what works best for me right now and sticking to that.” Such responses can set a respectful tone while disengaging from any competition or judgment. This is especially important during antenatal care, as stress can negatively impact both your mental and physical health.

2. Focus on Antenatal Self-Care

Pregnancy is a time for nurturing yourself and your baby. Incorporating practices like antenatal yoga or pregnancy massage into your routine can not only promote relaxation but also help you focus on your own needs. These activities allow you to slow down, be present in your body, and mentally detach from workplace competition. Many pregnant women report that practices like prenatal yoga not only help them physically but also mentally, by offering a safe space for reflection and inner calm. In addition to physical activities, focus on maintaining a balanced diet, attending antenatal appointments, and taking antenatal vitamins to ensure your health remains a top priority.

The Social Impact of Comparison: How to Protect Your Mental Health

Dealing with subtle or direct comparisons can take a toll on your mental health. Many women report feeling judged about how they are handling pregnancy, which can contribute to anxiety. According to a 2019 survey conducted by the charity Maternity Action, 1 in 5 pregnant women in the UK reported facing workplace discrimination, which sometimes took the form of unfair comparisons.

1. Avoid Internalising the Competition

It’s essential not to internalise comments or comparisons about how you’re “managing” pregnancy, as this can cause unnecessary guilt or stress. Every pregnancy is different, and what works for one woman may not be suitable for another. It’s helpful to remind yourself that you don’t need to meet anyone else’s expectations. If you find comparisons weighing on you, take time to practice mindfulness or engage in relaxation during pregnancy techniques. Meditation or deep breathing exercises can help you mentally refocus and centre your thoughts on your own needs.

2. Lean on Antenatal Support Systems

During this time, surrounding yourself with supportive colleagues and friends is crucial. If you feel comfortable, share your concerns with trusted individuals who can offer encouragement and perspective. Additionally, consider attending antenatal classes near you, as they can connect you with other expectant mothers who understand the unique challenges of pregnancy and offer a safe space for open conversations. These classes not only provide valuable education but also reinforce that everyone’s pregnancy journey is distinct. Whether you’re discussing antenatal checkups, fitness routines like yoga for pregnancy, or emotional changes, being part of a supportive group can reduce feelings of isolation and help you feel empowered in your decisions.

Practical Tips for Navigating Competitive Workplaces During Pregnancy

1. Stay Grounded in Your Own Journey

Remind yourself that your experience is valid, no matter how different it may be from others. Avoid comparing your workload, energy levels, or body changes to others, as everyone has a unique experience. Prioritise what works for you.

2. Focus on What You Can Control

While you can’t always stop others from making comparisons, you can control how you respond. If a colleague makes a comparison that feels uncomfortable, change the subject to focus on work or other neutral topics. Redirecting conversations helps to signal that you’re not interested in competing.

3. Celebrate Small Wins

Acknowledge and celebrate your own pregnancy milestones, whether they’re related to your antenatal scans, feeling the baby kick for the first time, or simply taking time for self-care. Focusing on your journey’s positives will help you maintain a healthy mindset in a competitive environment.

4. Use Your Antenatal Rights

In the UK, pregnant women have legal rights in the workplace, including the right to attend antenatal clinic appointments during work hours. If you feel pressured to work through your pregnancy without taking time for yourself, remind yourself (and your employer if needed) of your right to pregnancy care and self-care without fear of comparison or judgment.

Your Pregnancy, Your Rules

Navigating a competitive work environment while pregnant can be challenging, but by setting boundaries, focusing on antenatal self-care, and maintaining your mental health, you can protect yourself from unnecessary stress. Each pregnancy is unique, and it’s important to remember that comparisons are neither helpful nor necessary. By staying true to your needs and values, you can make the most of this precious time, both for yourself and your baby.