Politely Declining Birth Videos During Pregnancy: Setting Boundaries and Prioritising Comfort

Pregnancy is a deeply personal journey, and for many women, how they experience and engage with childbirth-related content, like birth videos, can vary widely. While some find these videos empowering or educational, others may feel uncomfortable or even distressed by them. If you fall into the latter category, you might find yourself wondering how to politely decline when someone offers to share birth videos with you. After all, it’s your experience, and you should feel comfortable in making decisions that align with your values and emotional state.

In this article, we’ll explore why some women may prefer to avoid watching birth videos during pregnancy, how to politely decline without offending others, and why respecting privacy in the context of antenatal care is important for your mental well-being.

Why Might I Feel Uncomfortable Watching Birth Videos?

1. The Privacy of Childbirth

Childbirth is an incredibly intimate and personal experience. For many, seeing another woman’s birth video might feel like an invasion of that privacy. While some people may be open to watching birth videos to better understand the process, others may feel that the act of giving birth is too private to share with an audience, no matter how close the relationship. Pregnancy and birth are experiences that can be very personal and raw, and for some, seeing someone else go through that vulnerability can be uncomfortable.

For those who have experienced difficult or traumatic births in the past, watching a birth video might trigger unwanted memories or feelings. It’s crucial to remember that just because others may be comfortable with sharing or viewing these videos doesn’t mean that you should feel obligated to participate.

2. Emotional Discomfort

Not all women have the same emotional responses to birth videos. For some, the imagery of childbirth can be anxiety-inducing, triggering feelings of fear or insecurity about their own upcoming birth. Birth is unpredictable, and videos showcasing everything from peaceful water births to emergency C-sections can leave expectant mothers feeling unsettled, particularly if they are unsure of what their own experience will entail. Watching another woman’s birth may evoke worry about how your own labour might unfold, and that emotional burden may not be something everyone wants to carry.

3. The Desire for a Unique Experience

Pregnancy is a time when many women wish to create their own personal expectations and experiences. Watching birth videos may introduce preconceived ideas or images that could interfere with your mental and emotional preparation for your own childbirth. Some women prefer not to compare their own potential birth experience to those of others, especially if they have already done the necessary research on antenatal care, prenatal education, and the birth process.

It’s important to recognise that every pregnancy and birth is different. Each woman will have her own experience, and that’s part of what makes childbirth such a personal and unique journey. Watching birth videos could feel like inviting unwanted expectations or comparisons into an experience that should feel empowering.

How Can I Politely Decline to Watch Birth Videos?

If you feel uncomfortable with the idea of watching someone else’s birth video, it’s important to be able to set boundaries that respect both your comfort and the feelings of others. Here are a few gentle ways to decline without offending anyone:

1. Thank the Offer, but Express Your Preference

If someone offers to share a birth video with you, start by thanking them for thinking of you. Acknowledge their generosity in sharing the experience, but let them know it’s not something you’re comfortable with. You might say something like:

“Thank you for thinking of me! I know some people find these videos really helpful, but I’d rather not watch them as I prefer to experience birth in my own way.”

This approach shows appreciation for their gesture while also communicating your personal preference without sounding dismissive.

2. Be Honest About Your Comfort Level

It’s perfectly okay to be open about why you don’t feel comfortable watching birth videos. If you feel comfortable, share the reasons why—whether it’s because of privacy concerns, emotional discomfort, or simply a desire to keep things private. A response such as:

“I think I prefer to keep my pregnancy and birth experience personal, and I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable watching videos of someone else’s experience. I appreciate your understanding.”

This can help the other person understand that it’s not about them, but rather about your own needs and preferences.

3. Set Clear Boundaries with Kindness

Boundaries are essential in any relationship, and pregnancy is a time when it’s especially important to prioritise your own comfort. When you politely decline a birth video, it’s okay to remind the person that you’d prefer to stay away from that content during your pregnancy:

“I’m focusing on my own preparation for birth and prefer not to watch other people’s videos right now. I hope you understand my boundaries on this.”

Setting boundaries in this way not only shows respect for yourself but also signals to others that you’re not interested in watching birth videos at this time.

4. Offer an Alternative

If you feel uncomfortable with birth videos but still want to engage with the person, suggest an alternative that might feel more in line with your interests and comfort. You could say:

“I’m more interested in discussing antenatal care or prenatal care at the moment. Let’s chat about how you prepared for your antenatal appointments or your experience with pregnancy support instead!”

This shifts the conversation to something you’re comfortable with while still maintaining the connection with the other person.

The Importance of Self-Care in Antenatal Health

Pregnancy is an important time to focus on your mental and physical health. Being proactive about what content or experiences feel comfortable for you is part of essential antenatal self-care. Whether it’s declining a birth video or setting boundaries during your antenatal appointments, it’s vital to protect your emotional well-being.

During antenatal care, many expectant mothers find it beneficial to focus on activities that help them feel empowered and relaxed, such as yoga for pregnancy, antenatal fitness, or prenatal massage. These activities support both physical health and mental relaxation, allowing you to feel more in control and confident about your upcoming birth.

Final Thoughts

When it comes to pregnancy and childbirth, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Everyone’s experience is different, and that’s what makes it so personal. While some people feel inspired or empowered by watching birth videos, others may find them unsettling, and that’s okay. You are under no obligation to engage with content that doesn’t make you feel comfortable or that doesn’t align with your own expectations and values.

In the UK, antenatal care is designed to be supportive of a wide range of experiences, and part of that care is respecting personal boundaries. If birth videos make you uncomfortable, politely declining is a healthy way to maintain your comfort, well-being, and emotional balance throughout your pregnancy. After all, your experience matters, and it should be one that feels safe, empowering, and personal to you.